


Mark of Faith

by silasfinch



Series: Marks [1]
Category: Saving Hope (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 05:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16361897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: I couldn't resist writing a Soulmate Fic AU.Sydney Katz hid her soulmate mark for decades.Maggie Lin wears hers proudlyThey meet."A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradiseJonathan Branch - American Novelist





	Mark of Faith

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ducky7goofy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ducky7goofy/gifts).



> For one of my most delightful new reviewers Ducky7

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise

Jonathan Branch - American Novelist

 

I'm falling

In all the good times

I find myself longing for change

And in the bad times I fear myself

 

I'm off the deep end

Watch as I dive in

I'll never meet the ground

Crash through the surface

Where they can't hurt us

We're far from the shallow now

 

Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga - Shallow

 

 

 

Finally getting her soul mate identifying mark is simultaneously a relief and terrifying for Sydney Katz.

 

The concept of a tangible connection to the person you are intended to spend the rest of her life with is a daunting one. For the Jewish people, such an affirmation from God is a sign of faith and helps to strengthen their communities. Scholars write papers and hold debates on the best ways to handle unexpected matches or if the soulmate concept is universal amongst the increasingly diverse branches of the Jewish faith. Fortunately for the most part soul mates align with the intuition of the matchmakers or the individuals reconcile to hiding their marks and finding a more suitable match.

 

Sydney Katz definitely falls into that second category, her desires were unacceptable to even the most liberal of the synagogue leaders. The name on her wrist isn't going to be Hershel, which is the result everyone is hoping for.

 

She is above all a student in all things. On an intellectual level, the process is straightforward, and Syd prepares for the day of her 18th birthday with the same diligence she applies to the premed entrance tests, both have the potential to define the rest of her life. The facts are evident at the exact moment of earth 18th birthday she may or may not receive a tattoo on her wrist with the name of her intended, the band on her wrist will only be finished when the two people meet. In a similar way to the markings of trees, the design will grow more elaborate as the connection grows through the years.

 

As Charles Dickenson once said, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity."

 

Sydney must face this moment alone.

 

Her mother and Rebecca are desperate to sit up with her, no doubt wanting to share in the moment and start the process of finding the person right away. Syd respectfully asks for time alone to pray and commune with God, they are disappointed but understand her solitary nature better than most. Truthfully she needs predawn hours to come up with a convincing lie to cover any mark.

 

The name appears on her right wrist with little pain or ceremony. The handwriting is messy and doesn't fit the contours of her wrist perfectly, but the feminine writing and name is as unmistakable as it is beautiful. 

 

Maggie

 

I spent hours tracing the six letters of the name, mentally preparing the lies that will need telling in the morning. The Katz household is a naturally modest one so it won't be difficult to hide the mark from her parents. Rebecca, the eternal romantic, is more difficult but not impossible.

 

Any deception Its better than the truth.

 

**A is for Apparition.**

 

Of course, 'my Maggie' is a doctor with a passion for foetal medicine.

 

 

I've spent so many years denying my sexuality that I didn't spare much thought to what would happen if and when we actually met. Accounts of the process vary from person to person and belief system to belief system.

Of all the possible scenarios I did not expect to be mid-rant about the old nature of feet brackets in maternal medicine, attempting to whack them out of the way is possibly vandalism.

 

Of all the Maggie in the world (and there are thousands in Canada alone), it is a small relief to know we are so compatible on this fundamental level.  Dr Lin is also stubborn, overly opinionated and extremely emotional.  Why didn't I register her name when they sent her file over?

 

"I am looking for the doctor, the real doctor."

 

My body knows who she is on an instinctive level the oxygen leaves the room as my nerves hum in recognition, the only other experience that comes close is my Bat Mitzvah and reading the tenements of faith.

 

The look on my soulmates face is a curious mixture of shock, wonder and terror. She moves to take a step forward but hesitates mid-action, feeling hesitant of my response.

 

Instead, she pulls up her scrub shirt and shows me her wrist. My handwriting is staring back, I've written my name thousands of times, and the loopy script is familar if only beautiful on the other woman's skin.

 

"Well, this is unexpected."

 

**B is for Balance**

 

"I never believed I would meet you, thought it was best to treat soulmates like a theoretical concept."

 

Of all the places I expected our next confrontation it wasn't in an on-call room after she details an experience with a miscarriage and failed relationship. Yet at the same time, I'm grateful that Maggie isn't alone when dealing with these feelings. The foundation years are hard enough without trying to grieve such a profound yet misunderstood loss.

 

"Yet I broke up with Gavin because I wanted a love like Alex and Charlie share, what does that say about me?"

 

"Aspiring to better isn't a bad thing I'm just not entirely sure I can be that for you" the confession is quiet and almost absent-minded.

 

"I like you; if that helps your deliberations any?"

 

The one thing I can claim a level of expertise in is helping women deal with miscarriage, so that is what we do, talk about the process of commemorating the loss.

 

 

 

 

**C is for Close**

 

My actions are unbelievably selfish and confusing for Maggie.

 

Yet the temptation is too strong to resist, the marks our wrists share, burn with intense heat as I draw her in for a long slow kiss, heedless of the budget meeting I'm due at in 5 minutes. This is one of the vital moments, the tattoo is growing and changing as we touch. We will need to invest in bigger watches or bracelets if it keeps growing at this rate.

 

Kissing a woman and Maggie, in particular, is everything that I wasn't allowed to dream of as a teenager. Her lips are soft yet insistent at the same time. Some small part of me wants to tell Rebecca that I know what she was talking about when she kissed Samual for the first time.

 

"I dreamed of this"

 

"I have a budget meeting."

 

I'm both hurt and relieved when she doesn't move to follow. 

 

D is for Denial

 

"Do you think I'm going to kiss you again?"

 

The words hurt her, but Maggie is my equal when comes to denial games as well.

 

She doesn't rant or rave at my unfairness she merely tries to point out the general flaws in my plan. The stony expression in her eyes gives the pain away.  We haven't known each other long, but this woman is selfless to her very core, her happiness is secondary to mine. If playing this game is what I need she will do so.

 

"Denying what is happening between us isn't going to make it go away, Syd."

 

"But accepting it will cost me my family and everything I know."

 

"What can I do to help?" Maggie pleads

 

There is nothing that she can do, this is my journey alone, but I want to offer her some hope to cling to.

 

"Please be patient with me I am trying”

 

**E is for Expert.**

 

I hate mediums and psychics which is probably why I quote Leviticus to him out of spite and temper. He doesn't deserve the accusation of witchcraft, annoying know it all but not a witch.

 

This is a strong word for somebody of faith to use, the scriptures advise against such feelings, but it doesn't stop me from feeling such emotions. These people prey on those who are unmarked claiming that they can find a soulmate in adulthood. My cousin fell for the game and forked of thousands that her family doesn't have.

 

"Your personal distaste for my profession is showing, Dr Katz. We aren't all the conmen the Jewish faith thinks we are. I like your fire though, and your soulmate does too. Her soul shines for you even though you don't want that to be the case, such a profound love is a blessing."

 

My flinch at his casual identification of my status is involuntary, his insights are unnerving.

 

"You don't know what you are talking about, psychic."

 

"Medium"

 

I glare at him before returning to my rounds. This conversation is pointless as it is painful.

 

"A person should always be careful about the honour of his wife, for a blessing is found in a person’s home only due to his wife"…. Talmud, Bava Metziz 59a

 

 

 

**F is for Fiancée**

 

Hershel comes to his senses before I gain courage.  

 

I am almost weak with relief when he comes to me and shyly but firmly ends our engagement, claiming he cannot cause us both pain. Our marks do not match in the slightest, we don't need to see them know this mismatch. It wouldn't be surprising if he knows my sexual preference, given the nature of our conversations (he is surprisingly liberal) but we do not speak of such specifics.

 

"We will not be happy together."

 

"I know."

 

To my surprise, I'm genuinely disappointed by this fact. I would be so easy to marriage this kind man who my family adores. We may not be destined mates, but we could be a brilliant match and raise plenty of Jewish children. Hershel is my equal in passion for scholarship, and he will make an exceptional leader one day, with an exceptional wife by his side.

 

Maggie treating my former fiancée for a giant tapeworm is the universe being spiteful.

 

 

**G is for Guide**

 

Maggie is a steadfast champion even when I don't deserve one.

 

When I continue the pattern of ambushing her at the hospital, she is gentle with me and returns my passion without escalating our state of undress. Instead, she offers words of encouragement and bravery. I am left in no doubt of her attraction to me, but the more profound realisation is that she remains patient with me.

 

**H is for Heretic**

 

Neshma found her soulmate.

 

Her Ruth.

 

This doesn't make her any less angry with me for outing her as having a female soulmate and blabbing to the synagogue. I want nothing more than to grant her wish to stay far away but the baby is on the line.

 

"Your strategy didn't work, Sydney. I found my Ruth while you stayed a closeted Good Girl." postoperative meds can be blamed for a lot but not this level of hostility.

 

"Your baby will recover, Neshama thats to Dr Katz" Maggie rebukes her sternly.

 

"My family is still in shambles" Neshema laments as she cradles her belly.

 

"Sydney is just as much a victim of those circumstances as you are. You are fortunate to have such a family of choice."

 

"Why do you care so much, Dr Lin."

 

"Honey..."

 

Ruth knows precisely why Maggie is becoming so defensive and she is looking both distraught and apologetic. Neshema never did suffer fools gladly, and she catches on soon enough. 

 

"Well, I pity you haven't the Golden Girl as your intended."

 

**I is for Integrity**

 

Telling the truth is hard when you planned on lying for the rest of your natural life.

 

I start with the easy targets, my more open-minded friends are medical school. Of course, they don't react in the slightest and suggest several groups that could be helpful. It's a low bar to meet, but there is a certain pride in saying the words out loud.

 

 

**J is for Job**

 

Maggie is determined to wait for me.

 

She accepts my emotional rollercoaster with patience and doesn't give into my clear demands for a fight. The words I say border on unforgivable, but she doesn't leave even when I beg her to. The other doctor is not of any organised religion but she has profound faith.

 

**K is for Kindness**

 

The lest I can do is perform little acts of kindness.

 

I find a tribute box explicitly designed for lost babies and stillbirths.

 

Maggie's favourite coffee shop isn't on my way home, but I become a regular there anyway, the staff become invested in my courtship process.

 

I come around at 1am when Alex has a panic attack and is convinced she is going to be a terrible mother and lose the baby.

 

I console her when she doesn’t do perfectly on her placement assignment. The criticisms are valid but not serious.

 

**L is for Love**

 

"I love you."

 

The words couldn't be less appropriate for the scrub room as we prepare for an emergency C section but she whispers them anyway when we have a rare moment alone.  Our patient is a blind woman who literally cannot see or feel that her brother in law is in love with her and willing to anything to help with the baby.

 

"I know it too soon, but I don't want to end up like Ben."

 

"There is no danger of that, you are in no danger of pining away in silence" I scoff gently.

 

We prepare for the operation in silence but I trace her wrist gently before we scrub in. There are specific gloves that can cover soulmate marks, to stop the irritation when people need to concentrate.

 

“ _Ani ohevet otah_ ”

 

**M is for Match**

 

Maggie is my match in simple and profound ways.

 

Her humour makes me laugh like nobody else, and for some reason, I make her smile, even though I have no discernible comedic timing.

 

We share a love of classic movies and tease each other with trivia and reenactments. There is something about having something as simple as films to focus on.

 

There is nobody else I want at my side when I lose a patient to an unexpected, and the husband is furious at me.

 

Neither of us sleeps very well, and we text and play word games long into the night. I look forward to the sound of the ringtone I assign just for her. The nightmares aren’t so bad with someone to share them with.

 

 

**N is for Necessity**

 

There are ways to deny your soulmate bound but no without causing a great deal of pain, especially when I foolishly started the process. I know this on a medical professional and intellectual level. However, it is another matter entirely to experience the pain firsthand, worst to inflict the pain on Maggie.

 

 

**O is for Openness**

 

I collect facts about Maggie like they are my treasures and new currency.

 

Her childhood is a collection of misadventures with her brother and the unenviable task of peace-making between her parents, having a soulmate doesn't guarantee a healthy relationship.

 

Unlike me, Maggie had no problem embracing her bisexuality. Sydney is a unisex name after all. She privately confides that she is glad I'm me because she always had a feeling.

 

Maggie is delightfully geeky when it comes to medicine, and I find myself raiding my library for obscure questions to stump her. If things get difficult or intense, we always have this language to turn.

 

I like her more with every passing day.

 

**P is for Protection**

 

"Don't you dare hurt her."

 

Alex Reed isn't the first pregnant woman to try and intimidate me. She isn't even the first to accuse me of being heartless and cruel. This situation is different though. Alex is my soulmate's best friend, and she has every right to question my motives and intentions. There is a fierce protectiveness in the chief resident that I envy.

 

"All I can promise is that I will do my best not to hurt Maggie in any way. We are working on our issues" it's weak, but it is the best I can offer. 

 

"Try harder."

 

**Q is for Quiet**

 

The quiet times with Maggie are my favourite even when I don't deserve them.

 

I am technically no longer her, but we share numerous cases and thus paperwork. My office becomes a shared space as we tackle the admin together, Maggie studies for her exams, and I try to decipher my writing which gets worse throughout the day.  We take turns putting on a classical playlist, Maggie takes an instant liking to Israeli pop music.

 

**R is for Rigor**

 

Maggie approaches courting me as if it is a scientific experiment.

 

She makes it her mission to take care of me and ensure that the shifts don't run into double digits too often. Maggie has friends in every corner of the hospital and property ratted on me to HR.

 

Books appear in my locker on Jewish Identity and LGBT Rights, they are written by Rabbi's and scholars that are surprising. The words are challenging but comforting at the same time.

 

I am solitary but nature and necessity but I came to enjoy the fact she tries to walk me home if our shifts coincide, which they do often now.  There is something about having someone to talk about a bad day with.

 

Maggie asks for my advice on the fundamentals of Jewish culture, and we even attend a few services together. The Rabbi doesn't even blink when he sees our marks.

 

 

**S is for Simmer**

 

I am insanely attracted to Maggie Lin.

 

I have never put much faith in all the clichés about psychical attraction or the book of, but apparently, my body was merely waiting for the right person. I find everything that Maggie does engaging and beguiling, which includes doing paperwork. There is an inherent grace to the process that captures my attention.

 

"You realise you aren't fooling anybody, right?" Jackson's comment is amused as he struggles in vain to get my attention.

 

"We should make a meme out of how you look at Dr Lin" some impertinent F1 offers with a grin.

 

“I had my doubts about you, Katz but you are besotted with her aren’t you?” the comment is as gratifying as it is embarrassing.

 

 

**T is for Tremble**

 

I never was a conventional teenager, but I feel like one now.

 

Dawn surprisingly understands when I outline the dilemma of my Soulmate- Student situation, other doctors, are her direct supervisors now even though I promise to remain objective. There is no longer an excuse for me to watch her every operation but find reasons to anyway. Dr Lin is her father's doctor and product of the Havard educational system. She has a bright future in fetal medicine with a keen eye for detail and complication.

 

The way she holds a scalpel makes me weak at the knees.

 

The way she encourages an ailing baby makes me want to plan a future with her. 

 

Of course being the emotionally regressed individual that I am such reactions also make me want to push Maggie away and go back to the comfortable land of denial.

 

**U is for Useless**

 

Maggie's fake date at crab shack does not end well for anyone involved.

 

My offer for her to go and have fun is genuine, but it comes out like I'm trying to set her up on a date, at a Crab Shack of all places. The hurt and angry look on her face is justified.

 

Poor Joel he didn't deserve to play second fiddle to our drama nor the thinly veiled debate about soulmates and Psychology. I'm insanely jealous of the man and the ease of his interactions with Maggie. Whatever his faults the man isn't stupid and the supposed date becomes a counselling session over limp salad and too rich chocolate cake.

 

“There is allot the two of you need to talk about but the foundations are there” he proclaims gently with confidence typical of the profession.

 

He has the nerve to offer information on Soulmate retreats that enhance couple communication. The idea sounds terrible but I resist the urge to mock.  

 

 

**V is for Vital**

 

Maggie hands me a bracelet without saying a word.

 

We a sharing dinner in the hospital cafeteria, this is a charitable turn for picking at the uninspiring menu as we wait for our patient to recovery from her first surgery with Shaker and his team.

 

The bracelet is beautiful more intricate than I am used to wearing, but my wardrobe is going through an evolution right alongside my emotions.  The silver band is thick with short Hebrew inscription and Hamsa symbol, This is obviously a handcrafted piece, judging from the exact fit to my bony wrists and the hint of copper in the etching.

 

"So you don't have to answer any awkward questions if you don't want to. My brother knows a jeweller who specialises in this type of design.

 

"The only questions that matter are yours and I can't seem to find the words despite speaking three languages."

 

Maggie is gentle as pulls my wrist over and fits the bracelet into place. Her hands tremble as she inadvertently touches her name on my skin.  This is a level of intimacy that we haven't shared before.

 

**W is for Weep**

 

I don't have anyone to wipe my tears or over a single word of encouragement.

 

It is such a strange thing to get upset over but when my family finally sees my soulmate pattern (the one time I forgot the bracelet). We are sharing a quiet dinner on the Sabbath, but all four of them recognise the patterning of a new soulmate mark as I pass the salt. The two couples at the table were both fortunate to receive very conventional soulmates,   Rebecca grabs my wrist, going pale with the shock. After some many years of concealing the truth, the exposure feels jarring, and I want to hide like a scolded child, my sister's fingers feel like talons as the yank my sleave up.

 

"You've met your match!"

 

Rebecca cry of share delight trails off as she gets a closer look at the full tattoo and the apparent problem that the name presents.   Almost without conscious thought, Becca holds my wrist up to show our parents.

 

"A woman's name how is this possible?" my mothers asked in a tremulous voice.

 

"Is this some Orthodox naming tradition? Is he Israeli? My dad even the keen scholar muses, he looks ready to leap up and consult his textbooks. 

 

I don't bother to restrain a bitter laugh that is closer to a sob. My gentle brother in law, who I don't give nearly enough credit, hands over his handkerchief.

 

"Nothing so obscure, Dad. My intended is female because I am a lesbian."

 

Maggie is doing a birthing class with Alex tonight and I don’t want to interrupt so I flee to my other sanctuary Hope Zion and its Maternity Ward.

 

Maggie finds me there at 2am.

 

She brings kosher baked goods from my favourite store.

 

 

**Y is for Yield.**

 

Maggie disagrees about my plans for a patient's discharge.

 

This isn't an unusual situation to find ourselves in, the taller doctor has a fundamentally different approach to practising medicine and interacting with the families. She is adamant that our mother with early signs of Postpartum Psychosis can be managed without involuntary admittance. This strictly professional disagreement is heightened by the lack of resolution in our personal situation.

 

"You have done an excellent job liaising with the family, but Maria needs round the clock supervision to stabilise. Her chances are excellent with the right medication..."

 

 

"Her husband can't afford the time off work to commute and the other children. Their entire support system is back home"  Maggie argues stubbornly.

 

"This risk..."

 

"The risk is higher if she is stuck here alone stressing about everyone else. Maria knows how to manage her symptoms and has access to psychiatric care."

 

There is a challenge in her eyes but she yields to my seniority if nothing else.

 

“Let me try and arrange some accommodation for her mother and extended family members so that Jose can stay at work” I offer as a compromise.

 

The smile she offers in return is worth the hours of bureaucratic wrangling my impulsive offer will require.

 

**Z is for Zone.**

 

The fight we have is horrible and painful, but it's also predictable.

 

My poor teaching evaluations are not without some merit.  The central focus is always the welfare of the mother and babies, no matter whose ego gets in the way. Truthfully Maggie isn't the first doctor to try my patience just the first to stand her ground and be infuriatingly charming about it.  If teaching weren't a core component of any senior staff position Dawn would reassign all the future doctors to other people.  There is equally some truth to the notion of an 'Israeli temperament" and all its inherent stereotypes, at least in the Katz Family.

 

Although it's a good thing her office is spartan by design or Maggie may be throwing things in a similar display of temper and peek. Fortunately, this section of the administration offices are relatively clear at this hours, the domain of night owls and shift workers, the rest will be discrete.

 

"Were you going to tell me about Clevland or just leave a note and pretend our paths never crossed?" Maggie gestures between them with quick, angry gestures.

 

"Of course not Maggie, this is a long-standing commitment. Forgetting you would be an impossible task, even for my powers of denial."  the comment is an attempt at self-deprecating humour.

 

"There are no fetal medicine specialists in the entire state of Ohio or the coast? is your ego that big?" Maggie is too hurt for the comment to retain any real bite.

 

"Possibly but the field gets progressively narrower when the topic is Cultural and Religious Intersectionality in Family Medicine."

 

Even if we weren't in such a unique predicament the look of absolute defeat in Maggie's gaze would inspire compassion. She can't face a 12-hour shift expecting me to abandon her at the first opportunity.

 

 

There is a maddening itch on my wrist and the skin as if the skin is getting inflamed. It would be worth looking up the effects of emotional conflict on the soulmate process. It can't exactly be said that I'm handling this phenomenon logically or using any of the techniques in the reference books or the talk shows.

 

 

 

Maggie Lin is knocking on her door at 2am.

 

Sydney knows this without even going to the door, the heat on her wrist is a giveaway, and despite all the pain, it is a relief to feel the sensation again, even if the pain will come too. For a half a second she thinks about not opening the door, but this isn't the set of a romantic comedy.  Her neighbours in an exclusive street will not appreciate eavesdropping on her personal drama not to mention they both have work in the morning. The patients of Dr Katz and Dr Lin deserve better than sleep-deprived doctors who can't interact.

 

Still, Sydney wishes she had gone to bed in something a little more glamorous than a giant tea sheet with the periodic table on it (a gag gift from Rebecca) and old sweatpants, than again there were no rules for having crucial conversations with your soulmate,  If there is a grade to make Syd failed long ago.

 

"I can make you happy."

 

The tone is hoarse and thick with tears, it makes her bones ache to think of causing this amazingly bright woman such pain.

 

Maggie looks absolutely terrible, more so than even a young doctor at her stage typically appears. Its possible she jogged over after her shift at the hospital if the scrub pants under her coat are anything to go by and the stethoscope in her pocket, somehow this picture seems oddly fitting for their circumstance.

 

A mixture of instinct and innate compassionate makes Sydney reach out and pull the taller woman into the comparative warmth of her apartment. Wherever they end up her former student deserves more than lottering on her step like a desperate criminal. They both flinch at the familiar heat when their fingers touch.

 

"I know I'm about as far from your ideal match and that your life is upside down because this and words can't express how wretched I feel about your family and their reaction.." Maggie starts rambling as soon as the door is closed and Syd leads her to the couch.

 

"You are right there are layers to your life that a humanist from an academic family will never understand, but we could be happy together...so very happy"

 

As she starts listing all the steps she is willing to take to learn the Jewish faith and what a support partner (or secret lover)  needs I cup her check. Maggie Lin is skilled at many things, but even she cannot deliver a speech on a single breath, but it appears she is willing to try. As if she expects me to kick her out of my house at life if she doesn't present a comprehensive dissertation on the topic.

 

"Breathe Maggie- Just Breath"

 

She complies with something approaching a smile as she leans into my touch, exhaustion plain in her every movement.  I keep my hands gentle as they trace her cheekbones but my voice becomes flinty, a pitch that is familiar to all my former students and her in particular.

 

"You are not going to change for me Maggie, and you're certainly aren't going to hide away like a shameful secret, to ask you to would be the worst of my many sins" I counter with a grim expression.

 

"I just can't do this hot and cold routine anymore."

 

Before she can launch into another explanation I pull her closer and crush our lips together, the gesture is more clumsy than cinematic. My coordination ends once I leave the hospital, she tumbles against my smaller from, and her hands yank my hair.

 

"You made me happy from the first moment you smiled at me and listened to a hysterical rant about maternal medicine. It is unforgivable that you went through such pain again.  As of yesterday morning.  I told my family, I involved my friends, I told the Rabbi, and I even told Human Resources, so others can do your final evaluation...Gabe will probably"

 

My nervous explanation stops when Maggie starts to cry, its a combination of emotional and physical exhaustion, there is a gauntness to her frame that wasn't there before and her body is still recovering from her pregnancy loss. As I rearrange our bodies, so she is lying with her head in my lap, I slightly vow to spend the next months taking care of her. A lifetime is daunting, but these simple steps are easy.

 

"Sleep my darling we will talk in the morning."

 

I was always a firm believer in miracles, they happen every day on the ward, but there is something magic about the way the other woman relaxes into my embrace that reaffirms and strengthens my faith.  She is my soulmate, but she is also my greatest gift and joy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
